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Growth and Understanding

I don't know what to title this piece, but hopefully, a title comes to me by the end of it. Anyways, in the last few months, I would say, I have overcome a lot of things that I never saw myself doing. I have overcome my depression, able to speak about my feelings, openly allowed others into my life, stood up for myself, and most importantly loved myself for being true to myself. If you was to ask me in November where do I see myself today, I probably would've said one of the two things dead or still in school. Today on July 15, NOT only did I graduate from college, but I am still alive and still making an impact on others lives. Honestly, I can't thank anyone but God himself because yeah my friends was there trying to help me but I didn't want to help myself. I'm saying all of this because you too can make it. Nobody ever said that life is easy, it's far from it honestly. I've struggled a lot in my twenty-three years on this planet and gave up sooooo many times but something kept me pushing.

I get fussed at so much by others because I won't let them help me but it's not because I won't let them, honestly I'll take all the help I can get. It's just certain things I need to do on my own because I earned it. I may not be able to afford it today but I will be able to afford one day. I never believed in myself until recently. I have cried so much from Aug 2018 to May 2019 that now when I cry, I laugh and not get mad because I made it through. I found my niche, I guess you can say. I figured out what Kyy likes and doesn't like. What she can do and cannot do. What makes her upset and what makes her happy. I realized that I am a bad ass bitch that I can do whatever it is that I want to do if I put my mind to it. I am not weak, but I AM STRONG! Everyone who ever doubted me, hurt me, or whatever the case may be sees that now. People who've I have dated sees that now. I stopped looking for happiness within others and found it within myself. I can now say, "Oh yeah she did piss me off but whatevs." and go on about my day because peoples perception of me doesn't matter. I know who I am and where I want to be in life. Which is why I may whine and act like a spoiled brat to some because I know I need that push in life. Which is why I'm tough on others because I don't want to see them in the same boat that I was in.

So I hope me opening up allowed you to see that if you are stuck and can't get out and think that death is your only option it's not. Stick in there because if I can make it out so can you! As always I am always here to help and I am always a text, call, or a DM away!

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