Do you have a support system? Support is very fundamental in everyone's life. It took me 22 years to realize that I have a support system whether I like it or not. I was dealing with a lot growing up so I took the incentive to seek help for myself. I started off with counseling did that weekly, then it became every two weeks and now it's once a month. In September I made my own support group. When I said it was the BEST thing that I could've done for myself it was. I created because of how my emotions would be about my miscarriage so I got everyone who helped me through the first one get me through it making a year. I believe that with support systems that we know who we can count on and who we cannot count on. When we are dealing with things that we cannot manage on our own we have to reach out and ask for help. Asking for help is one of my biggest things that I struggle with personally because I have A LOT of eyes on me 24/7. It's a blessing and a curse.
It's a blessing because there's people who knows that my front is fake and knows when something is wrong. It's a curse because I can never slip up. If I slip up then it's like oh shit Kyy slipped she's not fit for this blah blah. When in actuality EVERYONE slips up, its natural plus I'm not perfect and I am far from it!
I believe that knowing that you have support make things a lot easier than you believe. This week I realized that my closest friends do care about me. After going through everything that I have been dealing with within the last couple of days, I needed that reassurance of knowing that I am loved and that I do have the support that I need. Now granted, it has been a little overwhelming and aggravating with getting the checkups and stuff but I understand that they are coming from a good place and it is because they care.
My advice to any and everyone is, get you a support group! I'm not talking about one of those AA Groups or anything like that. I mean get a group of people that actually want what is best for YOU! If the people around you do not support you nor want you to do better, get better, or anything then REMOVE yourself. You need to do what is best for you and not for others. I had to learn that the hard way. I never thought that I would be here doing things like this and touching lives of others when I knew my life was nowhere near together, but I am. You do not know who looks up to you, who follows you and your footsteps, who looks at you broken and all and says, "Damn I want to be like them! They have their life together." Not knowing that you don't.
You need people in your life that when you get those thoughts of giving up or not wanting to be on Earth anymore, they will be there to listen to you and help you find your way. They won't leave you on read or even have you thinking like well I don't really care what you do because it's your life. You someone in your direct corner who is going to be like "Excuse me you use to love doing xyz what happened?!" The ones who will call/text your phone every other day if not everyday to make sure that you are okay. The ones who know that you will hold in everything until you cannot anymore. Do not have friends that only help when you break down but when they start to notice a change in your behavior and ask you about. I don't care how much you lie and say nothing is wrong. They know something is wrong, and until you tell them what it is they will keep bugging you about it. TRUST ME!
Life is too short and precious for us, as humans, to take it for granted. So go out there and do something different than what you would normally do. Have your group of supporters and tell them, "Hey, I think I'm going to get my first tattoo. Anyone wanna come with me when I go?"
I am always here for y'all. I know I said that I wouldn't be answering DMs well I realized that's y'all only way of contacting me so I will answer all DMs, I just won't be on social media posting.
I love y'all.
