How do you Self-Identify? For some, they only identify themselves as their nationality. For example, a young African American female would just be labeled as a black female. But what if she didn't see herself as JUST a black female? What if she saw herself as half black and half Mexican lesbian? What if there is a young male who's white and he sees himself as a female? We cannot judge people because of how they identify. I went to conference back in March called SROW, and one of the classes that I attended was talking about pronouns and how to talk to someone who is apart of the LGBTQ+ Community. For those who do not know the full acronym or what it means here it is: LGBTTQQIAAP, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, transsexual, queer, questioning, intersex, asexual, ally, pansexual. The speaker was a female but didn't go by the pronouns of "she" or "her". The speaker went by the pronouns of "them", "they" or "us". Which brought me to a shock because I never thought of that when I talk to people and who are females, I automatically call them "her" or "she" or even "ma'am". After that day I try to talk more in third person to make sure that I don't offend people because I find it awkward trying to see how to ask people what gender do you go by when most of the people in the LGBTQ+ Community is scared to come out and are living a secret life so they can please the people around them. Listed below are the definitions of each:
Lesbian - a homosexual woman. Gay -a homosexual person mainly a guy Bisexual - sexually attracted to both men and women Transgender - denoting or relating to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex Transsexual - a person who emotionally and psychologically feels that they belong to the opposite sex. Queer - strange Questioning - one's gender, sexual identity, sexual orientation, or all three is a process of exploration by people who may be unsure, still exploring, and concerned about applying a social label to themselves for various reasons. Intersex - born with unique biological characteristics, they are different from transgender people, who do not identify with their assigned gender identity Asexual - lack of sexual attraction to others Ally - a heterosexual person who supports equal civil rights, gender equality, LGBT social movements, and challenges homophobia, biphobia, and transphobia. Pansexual - sexual, romantic or emotional attraction towards people regardless of their sex or gender identity
So I went around asking how do people self-identify themselves and I was told this:
“I'm Schell, a sexually fluid Black American from Baton Rouge Louisiana. I say sexually fluid because once you slap on a label on the parameters are pretty much set. I go back and forth between bisexual and pansexual but in truth, my sexuality varies from day to day. Sometimes I have a limit attraction to males, sometimes I have limited attraction to females. Sometimes I'm open to dating a trans individual or bisexual male and sometimes I am not. Just being sexually fluid allows for some wiggle room for myself but generally, I respond bisexual or pansexual when I'm asked how I identify"
"I’m Trayl, an African American man who loves everything about the female form; mind and body. I ain’t never been gay but I hang out with women more than men cause the female brain fascinated me I guess."
"I don't self-identify because sadly society makes it mean soooooo much"
"I am Ty who is an African American woman (who is a lil hood rat only for Juvenile). I am attracted to males but I am not afraid to compliment another woman's beauty"
“I am Kyi. I am an African American woman that is free-spirited and dingy”
“I am Jas an African American woman who's attracted to men but despite my preference, I love people. I think we all get stuck on sexuality and forget the real reason we are here, which is to love to motivate & encourage. I NEVER judge a person on their preference I NEVER Judge. I self-identify as a person that loves 💕 💛💙”
“My name is Cydney Jones, I am a cis-gendered African American female. I identify as a lesbian. Despite the fact that most people in my adolescent years were not accepting of my choice, I currently embrace myself and the LGBTQ+ culture without caring about the backlash of others.” “I’m Ciara the educated successful Black woman that loves women from their head to their toes. There’s no such thing as a normal human being in this thing we call life and that is why my sexuality does not define me, I’m defined as the writer and editor of my life. The ball is always in my court.”
“I’m GhostDoGG an African American man that’s attracted to females but I have mad love for the LGBTQ community.”
"I’m Alexis, I do go by the nicknames Snoop or Snoopy, or Alex, which everyone someone calls me. I am heavily attracted to women though I can appreciate a good looking man. I am an African American woman, however, that is not only how I identify myself. I am a punk rocker, in that sense, one could say that I am Afro-punk. I am a musician so one could say that as well. I am more than my melanin and my attraction to my girlfriend. "
So I felt like I couldn't write this blog without telling you all how I self-identify. I am Kyy, an African American female who's attracted to both sexes. I am the type to live in my life without regrets and labels. I am okay with being called certain things but not most. I wouldn't consider myself as gay or bisexual or even a lesbian but one who is queer or even pansexual. I'm not the type to discriminate or even say that's not right to do xyz, but if you are happy with you then I am happy with you as well.
Being able to know yourself and know what you like and dislike will help you with YOU! You have to know what makes you unique and different and why people like you for you. If the people that you hang around do not accept you for you then why are you friends with them? Surround yourself with people who love you for you and because of who you are trying to be because that is hurting you in the long run. Your self-wealth is more important than trying to please others because if they do not accept you for you then that's not the people you should be around. You should not be afraid to live your life because of society or because of what people would say towards you for not living like them.