Who are you? I mean who ARE you? At your core? After you get rid of your occupation, your marital status, your education, the physical, the material?
When people ask me who am I, I never know what to say. Do you want a general bio of myself, or do you want to know how I process my thoughts? Well, I guess I will do both.
I am Sh-Kaia and I am a recent graduate of Southeastern Louisiana University. I am not your average twenty-something female. I don't know what or who I am at this point in my life but I do know that I am finally content with where my life is. I know its okay not to know who you are especially at a younger age because there are people who are 15+ years older than me who don't know who they are. But it brings me into a state of mind to where I should at least know who I want to be in the following years and it's that that scares me because I don't know what that is either. I know I can plan to have this figured out but I can also take it day by day as well. Because if I take it day by day then I won't have these high expectations on my life and I can't get upset if a goal isn't reached by a certain time.
Who are you at your deepest level?
I believe that I am one lost soul trying to make it out in the world. I tend to put others first and myself last. So as I take on others problems and insecurities, I tend to lose myself and have a hard time coming back into reality which is my life. I am an overthinker but optimistic type of person. I love to surround myself by the things/people that matter to me the most and make sure that life is going good for those things/people before I realize my life isn't so good.
There have been times where I wanted to do things to myself but the thought of how others look up to me has been the reason as to why a lot of things haven't been done. I care too deeply for the ones who are close to me and the ones who mean something for me. I know if I was to take my life it would leave a lot of people more than just hurt. So, I end up chucking my feelings and telling myself that I know that I can get through this storm and it won't last forever. Yeah it is extremely painful and my feelings are getting hurt daily but I can do this not only for myself but for others as well.
So this is me. Outside of my hobbies, sorority, major, etc. This is the real Sh-Kaia. This is the one that no one gets to see because this one is a lot to handle and she can barely handle herself but she is trying every day to make at least one person smile or help one person know that they are not alone and that the pain that they are feeling isn't going to last forever because mines isn't either.
So who are you? What makes you, YOU?