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May 3, 2019

This is going to be impulsive in a way and I will probably get inputs on this later on in life, but here we go.

Why is it that when it comes to black people we tend to say that you cannot be stressed because you don't have bills to pay or because of you only in school? I was told yesterday that "What you having anxiety attacks for? You don't pay bills. You got a part time job where you do nothing at. You have plenty of time to study because you don't do nothing. If you stop worrying about that little boy you wouldn't be having no anxiety attacks" LIKE WHAT THE EVERLASTING FUCK. First off, I have been dealing with anxiety since high school and I have been diagnosed TWICE with depression. So don't ever tell me just because I don't pay rent that I shouldn't be stressed. Secondly, I may have little to no work to do at my job but that doesn't mean that I am not doing anything when I am here. Thirdly, why does it ALWAYS be assumed that just because you are stressed it over a person? Life is hard and I don't think that people get that. I may walk around like nothing is bothering me that I have everything under control but internally you have no clue what goes on in my head. There's literally not a day where I am not stressed. I've learned to keep everything under wraps because of the simple fact of the matter is people say stupid shit like that. It never fails because all my life I have been told the same thing over and over again. So what does Sh-Kaia do? I live my life as if it’s just me against the world because whenever I do let people in it’s always "Oh you doing this for attention" or "you overreacting" or my all time favorite one "Kyy you being hella dramatic right now." Take a step back and realize that what you are saying isn't helping. All you are doing is pushing me further and further and I can promise you one thing. At the end of the day I may be torn, but I will never be broken. I took a lot of pain at an early stage of life and I've encountered even more in the last two years. So keep bringing on the pressure because you just building me to be someone even greater in life. I didn't see myself sitting here today just a few months ago but I just want to you know that, I am still here and I will continue to live and I AM DESTINED FOR GREATNESS!

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