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Zombie Mode

As most know but not all I went through a miscarriage last year in September. I went into a bad depression and lost myself and then some. I came out of it in late March. Now five months later, I feel myself drifting back into that deep hole. I have told myself that I wasn’t going to allow myself to go that deep into one but instead I did the opposite. I stopped taking my medicine in October 2017 because they made me feel like a zombie and I rather just cry than feel nothing. Well, now I rather feel nothing than cry because in this past year a lot has changed. I gained my confidence back. I was able to lose weight this summer. I stuck to my goals and completed my goals. I overcame way too much to be sitting around crying all day. Granted crying is helpful in every possible but once I started crying at random at work then that’s when I knew that I needed more than just my counseling meetings.

Soooo Monday, I went back to my antidepressants. Honestly, it was the WORST thing I could have done for myself. My alarm went off at 6:05a to get up to go workout. I didn’t get up. I got up at 7:45a and just laid in the bed because my body was